why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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