When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
