Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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