i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
