it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
