Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
