Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
