Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
