Small penises have feelings too.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i need some magic done to my vagina
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
