Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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