My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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