so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Can I color on your dick again?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
