Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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