I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
