He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
