this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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