I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
