he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
