Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
