Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
