Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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