you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
