I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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