We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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