Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
