All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She said her name was "party"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
