I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
