so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
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They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
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I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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