I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
