I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So squirting runs in the family.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Randomize
