I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
