my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
