Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
