is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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