so explain again why im purple
no
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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