it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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