I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
