maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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