She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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