Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
