I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
