I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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