She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
