I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
