i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Randomize
