your room smells of hookers.
And success
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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