How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
