Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
