i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm experimenting with sincerity
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
