great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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