Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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