no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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