I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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