that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Welp...herpes.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
