life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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