You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
