i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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