they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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