I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize