just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
