I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
