32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
